The Bay Citee Molars

BMs Henley 2010The Molars were the (Amazing) Singing Dentists renamed. We couldn’t get any gigs as the Dentists despite the excellence of the group. People tended to say ‘Singing Dentists?..Narr’ and stomp off. Or ask if we were a covers band or presume it was shite. Though when people saw us and laughed a lot they would enthuse about how good and funny 4 dentists were. ‘Are you all dentists?’ they’d ask hopefully. I would say ‘no it’s a comedy idea. I’ve looked up all I know about dentistry on the internet. We pretend to do 36 songs about dentistry, do 4 and then just sing 8 silly songs. And the dental songs are all about shagging anyway.’ But this songswouldn’t prevent people from wanting to make us into dentists even if I said I was an become_a_fan_04actor. ‘But the others are all dentists aren’t they?’ was the plea as if somehow that made it all the more fun. NO WE’RE ACTORS! IT’S A GAG’ I would say despite the show clearly just being an opportunity for me to fart about.  On one occasion I even told someone we WERE dentists because she wouldn’t take ‘no’ for an answer. She got angry with me when one of the others insisted we weren’t dentists. ‘You told me you were! How deceitful!’ So I changed the name. Anyway we made an album of dental songs and made up facts and ads about dentistry called ‘Dentura Highway’ which I cunningly sold not on the Bay Citee Molars site on (www.thebayciteemolars.co.uk) (it’s not up anymore) but on their manager Ken Tremlett’s site (www.tremlett.org.uk) (also not up) who is of course me in a dodgy wig. Ken sells useless items on his IMG_1063site. Please go and have a look. They are all utterly ridiculous. But he also sells the BCM’s album. I even did ads for Viz magazine selling the tracks. It was a total disaster. I even gave some tracks away for free on the site for a period. I had only two downloads. A friend saw my ads in Viz and said ‘they’re too good! They look like Viz gags! No one would ever believe there really was a band or website!’ One of them was me dressed as God on a throne saying ‘I am God! I know everything about you as I am omnipotent and all5-2-2010 11-27-44 PM seeing and I know you have bought ‘Dentura Highway’ by ‘the Bay Citee Molars’. I have to say I have had more success selling the album at gigs so all is not gloom and doom!  Here are a couple of tracks for your edification.

They’re (If you’re gonna swill) Swill Well and Not in a Sexual Way (in a dental way)

 

This is ‘Not in a Sexual Way’:

Incidentally the added instruments, strings etc etc were all courtesy of the incredible Mark Russell.

Here’s a video of ‘Skunk Breath’ without the rap bits:

And another of ‘I love Being a Dentist’ Live at the Henley Festival. Warning: It’s very silly.

As is this one: ‘Let’s Go Surfing’. As you can see it takes some time to actually sing the song:

And this is the ubiquitous ‘I Want to be your piece of Cheese’, a song originally written for the Kondos and a crowdpleaser regardless of the name of the band.  It’s taking place in what was my kitchen.

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